i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
