She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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