Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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