He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
