she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
