I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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