You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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