hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
