There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
