his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
