I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
