So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
