...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
