actually, I'm a sock model
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
