ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
no, he came in my armpit
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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