I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
