It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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