hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You ruined the universe
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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