I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize