check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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