I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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