If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She bit a glass in half.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
