this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize