the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
