Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
