Having a random hookup so left but love u
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
