I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
