Me. At least after what I've been through.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
