That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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