If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
