What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
