shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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