somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
