Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
