Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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