I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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