I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Green mimosas i think yes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
