p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
