you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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