I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
