I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
