Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The air taste purple.
Randomize
