It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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