Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
