you guys were way drunker than both of me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
