Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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