Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize