awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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