Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
