yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
