It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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