I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
