Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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