she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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