Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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