I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
