whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
