i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize