Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
