I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
