After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
