all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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