so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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