He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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